Bz-Incorporated

For completeness

Admirarch — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:38:00 +0000

BZI: Admirarch, Sweating bullets
Barons: The orbitskit
Barons win 11-2
30 minute match

BZI: Admirarch, Sweating bullets
Zees: Ep, longhair
BZI win 8-1
30 minute match

It's so nice shooting normal people after those barons.

Special guest reporter: Mistake!

Admirarch — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 23:24:00 +0000

match: Bar vs. Inkies
Bar: Meno + Mistake
BZI: Admir + Thono
score: Bzi wins 6-4
weather: heavy snow and blizzard storm
Full of luck, and low on tk,
the Barbarians had no problems
with the incers on their way.

However as sometimes happens,
And with a bad consience about his spawns
Mistake's luck started to lacken.

The end result tells it clear
Luck isn't enough,
and we werent to tough
though next time we'll play more rough.

BZi vs Easy Kill

Anupam — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 19:39:00 +0000

BZi: Tante Horst, Sweating Bullets
(Suppousedly) Easy Kill: Sussi, Matrixe
Score: 5-1 (EK-BZi)

We got pwned, largely because sweating bullets was sleeping. Tante Horst pulled of our only cap
in splendid fashion initially, but things went downhill from there on. A couple of EK caps were pretty hard fought though.

Fun as always

ps: tante agreed to match only if I reported the match :)

SNT slips

SportChick — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 19:28:00 +0000

After many matches in recent weeks in which SNT clearly showed its superior skill, spawns and even smiles, today, they slipped a bit when they allowed BZinc to tie in a hard fought 15-minute match. Playing on an anti-Admir server (proxs), SNT tried their best to hold the heroic bzis at bay, shooting them in the back, sneaking shots on ridiculous ricos and even using the spawn code to their best advantage.

Bzi, though, despite SNT's best efforts, even went so far as to move its flag from one corner to another - to their advantage. The crowd at the match went wild whenever bzi scored, and of course, booed vehemently on SNT caps. Bzi, showing their good sportsmanship, asked the crowd to politely golf clap whenever SNT scored, instead of booing.

The match particulars:
bzi: Admir & essy
SNT: greeter & juicyfruit
Length: 15
Tied score at 2:2
Weather: fair, lightly breezy, with the sun always shining in SNT's eyes

Match BZ-Inc - [exozytose]

Thonolan — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 19:12:00 +0000

Players for BZ-Inc. :SC ,Thonolan and Admir sub.
Players for [exozytose] :ts and benji 13.

A very close match that a tie deserve but fortunately we had the better end for us. We won 6:5 after a really close exciting match.

Story of a match that was not to be

Anupam — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 04:19:00 +0000

BZi challenges The Barons to a match
But the Red one says there is a catch
"I am very tired,
And my life is very mired."

BZi calls the red baron's bluff
and he gets on his tricyle in a huff
he proceeds to pedal hard
but BZi is on the guard

They stop him in his tracks
And cannot be bribed with snacks
The sister brigade came on their choppers
and put TrB in the hopper

In a fit of angst and fear
without TRB anywhere near
the barons known at skit and kate
claimed they had no mate

they ran away to match on GU
claiming they never knew
Our attempt to match came a cropper
though it is not entirely proper

Disclaimer: SportChick is responsible for at least half of this

BARBIES BRUISE BERNIE

SportChick — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 03:27:00 +0000

Well, this match report was supposed to have been written by none other than beARTniebee, but somehow, he seems to have been bumped, beaten, bruised and berated by Bar to such an extent that he was apparently incapable of writing a simple match report.

beautiful bzis: BeARTrnie & SC
brutal bars: mistake & kierra|menotume
brutes won 5:4
match length: 30
weather: light and breezy for the first 1/2 of the match, odd sickeningly sweet odor (could that be melting chocolate?!) during the second 1/2

The heros of the story did well in the first 1/2 of the match, taking a 4-2 lead. However, suddenly bar started tossing candy out on the field, which clogged up our treads! Despite the bzi-favorable map, and beARTnie's skillful driving and shooting, the brutes managed to tie the game. With only a minute or so left, they dashed the hopes of the heros and the crowd by capping their fifth. Their performance, on BAR standards, was abominable. Only 2 tks a piece. One must wonder how long until BAR either loses the TK title or has a wholesale housecleaning!

Match: untamed

Tante Horst — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:00:00 +0000

meanies (won 3:1): catay, Koziol
meaniewannabes: jh^, Tante Horst

nice match as always with untamed :-)

bzi-tfc

jh — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:26:00 +0000

score: 3-3
duration: 30 mins.
bzi: jh,tante horst
tfc: pommesspecial,bratwurst
highlights: this was a very close and good match, teams were pretty much equal so the game was enjoyable. for some odd reson tfc members moooe'd when someone capped the flag:P.

SNT vs BZi

Anupam — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 04:25:00 +0000

SNT: orange, hiya
BZi: SportChick, Sleeping Bullets

A really tired reporter reporting on this 15 minute match. BZi ended up on the losing side of 4-1, but given that SC was really playing 2 against 1 for most of the time. SB was busy finding creative ways to die needlessly.

But fun as always, and we got a good solid cap in :-)

Matchreports

Bernie — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 21:50:00 +0000

bzi : bernie, sc
bza : feathers, deviltank
duration : 15 mins
score : 3-1

well, no real highlights .. so lets go to the next match :

bzi : bernie, thono
bar : capn, meno
duration : 2 x 15 min
score : 2 x 3-3 :)

yes, these matches vs bar were great. somehow the second match was the same as the first. bar began strong, they owned the first half in both matches and leaded 3-0. but bzi didnt give up and earned a two ties. yay!

ReReMatch: Bar vs BZi

Anupam — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 02:57:00 +0000

BZi: SportChick, Sweating Bullets
BaR: mistake, menotume

Resistance was very dour
Score was seven - four
After much blood and gore
This match's lore -
is that for 29:50 mistake had meno 8-0 and then in the very end, he blew it, and it became 8-1. Menotume pulled one off at the death. BZi suspects there might have been a kink in the space time continuum had 8-0 happened.

Entertaining game!

ReMatch: Bar

SportChick — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 02:14:00 +0000

bzi: Sweaty & SC
bar: M&M (meano and mist aka CandyBars)
Length: 30
Weather: alternating between huge gusts of wind and deadly still
The Candy won 5:2

After QD and Mur failed to meet their 5 TK quota in the previous match, they were subbed out for TK happy M&Ms. Notwithstanding the score, the Bzis had another moral victory. Candies had to traipse down the length of the field not once, twice or even thrice to get their first cap. Four times, the barbies had to drag that flag all the way down the field...One has to wonder if it gets heavy after a while. Multiple times, the flags were fought over quite desperately. As always, quite fun!

Match Report: BaR v. BZi

Anupam — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:14:00 +0000

BaR vs BZi
Sweaty made a decidedly weak attempt at the pwnage song
We will we will pwn you
failing that: We will we will pwn your dog
failing even that: We will we will pwn your cat

At the end of 30 minutes, with the scoreline reading 8-4 in favour of BaR, BZi had to settle for cookies. So I guess the Barbies can enjoy the ownership of their cats and dogs for another day.

Bar was represented by Mur, quantumdot and kierra
BZi had dmp, SportChick and Sweating Bullets

Match Report SNT - BZ-Inc.

Thonolan — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 20:12:00 +0000

SNT :3 BZ-Inc O
For SNT: orange and hiya and for BZ-Inc. :jh and thonolan.
Well played from SNT, for BZ-Inc. it was impossible to work as team. And as ususal Thono made teamkill in importand situation. ;) jh fight well but the less skill from me cant support him.

A 10-Match Day

SportChick — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 04:39:00 +0000

Well, that was 10 matches today, guys! Great job! During the next two days, Admir and I won't be as available, so try to keep up the matching - at least 5 a day please! All you other teams out there - please PLEASE challenge any bzi you spot to a match! And don't take "no" for an answer!

Match Report: SNT

SportChick — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 04:08:00 +0000

bzi: Admir & SC (aka SportComa)
SNT: orange & chief meanie (that's toki to some of you)
Length: 15 minutes
Weather: Very foggy
SNT won 4:1
Map: extremely cluttered with buildings in the middle (a map I normally would love but was too tired to do much with)

Chief Meanie agreed to take a short break from his overwhelming work load (which, of course, is probably something like cracking the whip on poor helpless tankers or shooting chicks in the back - from his bztank, of course) to match the incers on their quest to reach Bz-Inc's millenial match. He brought along a nut..or was it a fruit...to be his mate. Chief Meanie and his nutty partner used the map to great advantage. Sadly, the spawn goddess seemed to be missing the entire time - perhaps she was lost in the fog with SportComa. When the fog cleared, the match was over and the good guys had lost the battle.

Barons Matches

Admirarch — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 03:30:00 +0000

I'm rather tired so I'll try come back and add extraneous things like flowery vocabulary, humour and complete sentences later

Barons: TrB, RB2
BZI: Admirarch, [dmp]
Barons win 6-1
30 minute match

I was rubbish, dmp was good, barons were excellent. We got outplayed.

Barons: TrB, RB2
BZI: Admirarch, Sportchick
Barons win 3-0
15 minute match

We fought well in this one despite being comprehensively outkilled and the 3-0 scoreline is a bit harsh. Barons are once again excellent though.

Another match against BaR

Admirarch — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 02:43:00 +0000

BZI: Admirarch, Bernie, Sportchick
BaR: menotume, Mur, kierra| sub quantumdot (15)
We win 7-3
30 minute match
Weather: Sunny, as usual

kierra leaves: BaR fall to pieces

It was decided that the person to write this report would be the first one to be so foolish as to get shot by menotume and so, with a mere 20 seconds on the clock my inner poet soul stirred in my breast at the thought of mangling another match report and plunged me straight into an easy ricochet off the wall.

The match then proceded rather evenly for 15 minutes until the turning point point of the match, and I must leave it to my readers to infer causality or dismiss as mere coincidence, when kierra was substituted for quantum dot. From this point BZI romped home in rather uncharacteristically glorious fashion. BaR on the other hand became a little jaded, their glowing orbs of death seemed slightly dimmer than before, slightly less zip in their psychotic zigging and zagging and most significantly being totally outclassed on the tk front.

The Barbarians! / The Impress-Girl-Ritual cheat!

[dmp] — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:13:00 +0000

I'm sure you're all (guys, at least) familiar with this situation: You're doing good at something, and the girls are impressed. You feel like you're on the top of the world. They can sent everything against you, it cannot hurt you. You're on a roll.

Yeah, its a little secret. When girls are around, guys needs to impress them. I'm not sure why, and its sure isn't always a good idea, but that's what guys do. Girls/woman give birth, and that is something we cannot compare to. So we spend our days to impress them - when we can.

And sometimes we make mistakes. I know its hard to believe, but we actually do that. Impressing girls and making a mistake does not mix, so we look like fools (yep, that's our secret backup plan). So, the flow is basically: try to impress, add mistake, and voila, you lost. Game over.

The Barbarians knows this far too well.

We were are, in a typical matching situation. BZI (me. SportChick) vs BAR (Kierra, QDot) and audience (with more girls).

We start, we play. I try to impress them girls, as the guy I am. And we're doing good. Actually, we're wining. 3-1 and plenty of time left.

And then it happens. They remove a girl, kierra, which is a blow towards my impress-girl-ritual.. And then, the lethal move, they add... mistake.

Its over. I cant help it. Game over is already flashing on my screen. Even my BZFlag knows its impossible to get out of this with my pride intact. I look something like a chicken in a lion suit inside my tank, which isn't exactly the macho look i wanted, and I'm fairly sure that only a small niche on the internet that finds this attracting. And the scores slowly adjusts. We lose. 5-4.

Nevertheless, however unfair that move was, the match was fun.

But I cannot help to ask. Why didn't this influence BAR. Either the praticed this a lot to be immune to the impress-girl-ritual. Or.. they are not men. And, as a guy, doing impress-girl-rituals, I can assure you, they are not female either. So what are they? And is that cheating?

Facts:
2006-08-15 23:36:17 The Barbarians vs. Bz-Incorporated (5:4) 30m
BZI: Me, SportChick
BAR: QDot, Kierra/Mistake

We played good. But mistake/qdot is a good combination and was hard to fight against. However it was fun. Until 5 mins before end, we did pretty well. However they got a 4-4 score and was close at getting the 5th. It seems that made us (both) lose our focus, which probably made it a bit easier to get the last one. But that is what happens.

Gameover screenshot

Match Report: EiE

SportChick — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 22:16:00 +0000

bzi: Tante & SC
EiE: Hottie & Upsy
match length: 30 very exciting minutes
Extraordinarily Insane 'eanies won 5:4

After convincing EiE to abandon that jumpy server they'd spent so much time on, I had to convince Tante that 6-8 matches in a day is normal and expected, and that "er kannt schlafen wenn er tot ist!" The match was very close, most of the way through. Hottie and Upsy had me playing like a noob for a good part of the match - they shot me so much! :p The game was all the way down to the wire, with EiE capping their final cap with 0:02 on the clock. Well played and fun!

Match Report: Untamed the 4th

Tante Horst — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 18:59:00 +0000

Untamed: catay, Koziol & pyr0
Bzi: SportChick, Thonolan & Tante Horst
Length: 15
Weather: same as ever
Map: nice, lot's of buildings
Bzi won 4:1

Again, bzi was quite busy trying to find a "voluntary" for the match-report. This time the one with the most tk's should do it <8-). Interesting match, lot's of nice savings, quite tricky to dodge untamed's bullets AND trying to drive in one of the teamies shots instead.
TK: Thono 0, localhorst 1, Mrs. Boss 3!!!

Match Report: Untamed x 3

SportChick — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 17:27:00 +0000

Bzi: Tante & SC
Untamed: catay & Koziol
Length: 15
Bzi won 3:0

Yay, finally we found a match! Koziol even asked us! Koz is coming along very nicely as a player - getting rather scary. Catay, of course, had his meanie hat on, but Tante Dangerous was having none of that! He led the scoreboard and was a complete star the entire match. Rating: Very fun

Bzi: Tante & SC
Untamed: catay & Koziol
Length: 15
Bad Guys won 3:1

Another enjoyable match. Tante tried to slip off away to one of those jumpy servers, but the ball & chain worked well and he was stuck rematching. Catay & Koziol (aka, the "bad guys") were terrificly mean the whole match and kept stealing bzi's flag. Rating: Very fun (but would have been more fun if the bad guys hadn't won)

Bzi: Tante, Thono & SC
Untamed: catay, pyr0 & Koziol
Length: 15
Good Guys won 3:2

This was a close match! And very fun, of course. pyr0's attempts to distract SC didn't help his case though. Bzi has started having contests during the match to see who gets to file the match report! Good fun! (This time, it was based on who shot catay the most/least).

Match SNT BZI

Thonolan — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:33:00 +0000

SNT : Orange Tokimi and hiya
BZ-inc: Sportchick, Admirarch and Thonolan.

15 min (thank god) Match score : SNT 3 : BZ-inc 0

SNT played well and concentrated. BZ-inc couldnt create a good teamplay. Thonolan made to much teamkills in importand situations. Server was lil hopping so we had a few breaks.

More SNT matches

Admirarch — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 04:33:00 +0000

SNT: tokimi, hiya, orange
BZI: Admirarch, bernie, sweating bullets
SNT win 6-0
15 minute match

Nothing to see here, move along now.

SNT: hiya, tokimi, orange.
BZI: Sportchick, Admirarch
SNT win 4-1
30 minute match

Now this one was a bit more noteworthy. Hiya and orange started because tokimi was faint from hunger (or some lame excuse). They capped a couple of times fairly quickly so we began to bore them to death by sticking flags in opposite corners and forming a defense tighter than a clam on steroids. At this point Sportchick awoke from some form of coma and, having attained some higher bzstate began killing things. Lots of things.

We promptly captured and things were looking up which meant that tokimi, meanie in chief, was summoned to the fray in order to squash our great, glorious and thoroughly deserved comeback. What we ended up with was a close match where either team could have sneaked it and where BZI were once again morally victorious. Unfortunately we weren't technically victorious but one can't have everything.